Hopefully the person I'm trying to create is just a funny, dour, evil side of myself that has no other way to express itself. I don't model it after anyone in particular. Who would be like that? Who? I wouldn't want to meet that person. I wouldn't want to be interviewed by that person, I can tell you that.

You have to be willing to ask questions that almost no one else would ask.

You've got to have gumption. You've got to be willing to stand up on the stage for no money for ten years.

The worst thing you can do to a dictator is laugh at him.

It is so expensive to take care of my hair and keep it looking like I was born with it, when my real hair is the color of rat fur.

My apartment is the equivalent of one room in my Toronto home. Now I understand why New Yorkers are on the streets at all hours. People don't want to stay inside for fear they'll go crazy.

When you can agree on one thing, you should have no expectation that suddenly a person is converted to your way of thinking. You have to be willing to be frustrated constantly.