Smokey Joe (Williams) could throw harder than anyone.

They said I was the greatest pitcher they ever sawI couldnt understand why they couldnt give me no justice.

With women you don't have to talk your head off. You just say a word and let them fill in from there.

If your stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts.

If you want to live a long time, don't fool with nothing old but money, nothing big but a bank roll, nothing black but a Cadillac, nothing over twenty-two years, nothing that weighs over 130. If you do, you're in trouble. 'Cause when you're getting old and your cells gettin' low, you'll need a Delco battery to boost ya.

I don't know how old I am because a goat ate the Bible that had my birth certificate in it. The goat lived to be twenty-seven.

Not to be cheered by praise, not to be grieved by blame, but to know thoroughly one's own virtues or powers are the characteristics of an excellent man.