I urge all children to listen to their mothers and fathers. My mom was helping out some kids and she didn't want to call me for all of the money; she only wanted to take care of some of the kids.

Przybilla can't guard me when I'm 27, 37 or 47.

A writer from ESPN magazine once described me as the world's largest eleven-year-old. That's true. I ride my Sea-Doo jet ski, play putt-putt golf, go to water parks, and act silly. On the bottom floor of my house in Beverly Hills, I have video games, a pool table, a Pepsi machine, and all the things they have in arcades. I drive go-karts, at least the ones I can fit in. I karate-chop my friends when they come over, like the Kato dude in the Pink Panther movies.

Why don't you bring your face up here and let me punch it? Then you can tell me (if I'm stronger).

Anyone can win a slam-dunk contest. The real Superman is dead. He was assassinated by Pat Riley. I'm the Big Cactus now and ready to roll again.

The stats win nothing. I'm still sexy. I'm still great.

No one was there. Some teammates, huh? I guess they didn't want to get their lip busted like the gentleman I busted. Sorry for that sir.