I urge all children to listen to their mothers and fathers. My mom was helping out some kids and she didn't want to call me for all of the money; she only wanted to take care of some of the kids.

Alvin's the coach. We must be the Clippers. And I must be Olowokandi. Nooooo!

Incense. Books. Just weird.

If you're going to hire an assassin, let him go out and kill someone. I can't be Shaq taking six or seven shots.

I think the new ball is terrible. It's the worst decision some expert, whoever did it, made. It's terrible. It's like touching an exotic dancer and then going and touching a plastic blow-up doll. You know, it feels different.

Can I go one day without somebody saying something negative about me?

We're going to do it again next year. We'll see you again next year. Yeah, I said it. Yeah, I said it. We will do it again next year.