Y'all reporters like my quotes, don't you. Yeah, my quotes are Shaqalicious.

Every team that plays us plays above their heads. That's because of me.

It gets bigger every time you go over. In China, there was Yao Ming stuff everywhere. I'm just fortunate to have a good-looking face to where they recognize me.

One time, I put up 40, 50 points dunking on Shawn Bradley. After the game, he brought his family over. He was like, 'This is my wife. She wants to take a picture.' I'm like, 'Nice to meet you.' I smile into the camera, take the picture, and then feel guilty about dunking on him so many times.

I think I'm the only player who looks at each and every center and says to myself, 'That's barbecued chicken down there.'

Well, Doctor, I don't have the diagnosis on that. I'll be sure to do a physical checkup and get back to you.

The problem with kids these days is they don't have enough fun stuff to do. When I was stationed with my family in Germany, youth basketball programs gave me something to strive to do my best at.