Y'all reporters like my quotes, don't you. Yeah, my quotes are Shaqalicious.

Can I go one day without somebody saying something negative about me?

I want to go to police academy, I want to actually go out and make a couple of arrests. I want to go undercover.

I'm on a mission. And I know the older I get, I may lose a step or two, but it's all up in the medulla oblongata. I've got a lot up there. I've got a lot of knowledge... in this medulla oblongata.

If he were on fire, he couldn't act as if he were burning. He can't out-act me on the big screen.

Afterwards I said Chris Webber was going to leave as a free agent and Sacramento would go back to expansionism.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, bet you can't type that.