The Big Cactus. I will stick you.

I started out as a young Ninja and killed all of the Shoguns. I am a Shogun now and I'm holding my spot. There probably won't be another Shogun after this.

Keep in mind, I'm not allowed to be tough. I'm tamed.

Some things you just can't question. Like you can't question why two plus two is four. So don't question it, don't try to look it up. I don't know who made it, all I know is it was put in my head that two plus two is four. So certain things happen. Why does it rain? Why am I so sexy? I don't know.

I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing.

I'm on a mission. And I know the older I get, I may lose a step or two, but it's all up in the medulla oblongata. I've got a lot up there. I've got a lot of knowledge... in this medulla oblongata.

If I don't get five [titles], I won't be happy with myself as a basketball player. I don't know how you guys will feel about me.