When I get old, I'm going to the old folks' home. I don't want to be one of those guys who's hanging around the house bothering the kids. But not just any old folks' home. I want the whole top floor.

You gotta fight all the karate guys, and once you kill them off, now you gotta get to the ninjas. Once you get through the ninjas, now you gotta get to the showmen. Now me, I'm the showman of big men.

Sometimes I feel like the Tom Hanks character in Big. But my life is not a movie. I never have to go back to Coney Island to find the fortune-teller machine so I have to grow up again.

I take that as an insult, even at 36.

Flash, take the game off. I'll go out and do the work.

Challenge me. Treat me like a game of checkers and play me. That's all I'm asking, just play me. Treat me like Sega and play me.

I'm getting older. I'm getting sexier. I'm getting meaner. I can still do what I do.