I'm the master marketer.

My father made me who I am. He gave me a basketball and told me to play with the ball, sleep with the ball, dream with the ball. Just don't take it to school. I used it as a pillow, and it never gave me a stiff neck.

I am a tropical black man.

They won't talk to you because I'm undercover.

The NBA's been around how long? A hundred years? Fifty years? So to change it now, whoever that person is needs his college degree revoked....Whoever did that needs to be fired. It was terrible, a terrible decision. Awful. I might get fined for saying that, but so what?

I'm going back to the old Shaq. I was normal last year - I was an earthling last summer. I had to go back to my alien roots.

Phil took us to the finals three out of the five years and you want to fire him and want to bring in Mike Krzyzewski? Come on, man. That's like being married to J-Lo, then dropping J-Lo for a girl that's 5-10, 480 (pounds).