He's just intelligent-sort of a nerd, actually. He's the only brother I know who made a 1420 on the SAT. I don't think Chris Dudley did that, and Mr. Smarty Pants went to Yale. Kobe doesn't hang out. He doesn't go to the clubs. He doesn't ride around. He doesn't put rims on his car. He's just him. He's a sophisticated kid. Damn mature for his age.

I'm the NBA's best NFL player, and I've always been the sexiest 7-footer in the NBA - for 12 years running.

I'm sort of like a specialist. I go in, do what I do and every four years, they get tired of me and I have to relocate myself.

We want you all to be in shape and look as good as me. Because I will be walking naked on the beach.

I'm just getting better and better. It's just like a bunch of worker bees protecting the king bee, because I'm not a queen bee. I'm a king bee.

It was a weird game. There was ugly shooting and a lot of turnovers and mistakes, and we were just fortunate to get the win. I should have done better, but it was just a very ugly and weird game... I knew the game was going to be an ugly game when I saw those three guys at the scorer's table. Ugly people call ugly games.

Pluto is not a planet, but I am.