Why the hell wouldn't you want to be one of the fabulous people, the life enhancers, who look interesting and smell luscious and who dare to be gorgeously more fascinating than their neighbors?

All over America, people are making kamikaze choices about what to wear. They are misrepresenting the goods. They are letting their clothes write checks that their personalities cannot cash.

Wearing a pair of yellow shoes does not make you an interesting person, that is of course unless you've just murdered someone in them.

Architects are the new comedians.

The message of a leopard-print jumpsuit is clear: 'I am a huntress who delights in eating the offal of her prey.'

I don't want a politician who's thinking about fashion for even one millisecond. It's the same as medical professionals. The idea of a person in a Comme des Garcons humpback dress giving me a colonoscopy is just not groovy.

If there is such a person on the planet, then he or she-this self-appointed arbiter of “appropriateness”-deserves to be confronted with as many “inappropriate” transgressions as possible.