Andrew is an integral part of the team and he is staying at my football club. The reality is I need him to score the goals that will get us promoted.

Even if I built a 50,000-seater stadium and bought Ronaldinho, there'd still be complaints about crap hotdogs.

What does Everton chairman Bill Kenwright think he will get for £6m? Andy Johnson's trainers?

Andrew is an integral part of the team and he is staying at my football club. The reality is I need him to score the goals that will get us promoted.

Agents are nasty scum. They're evil and divisive and pointless. They only survive because the rest of the sport is so corrupt and because leading football club people employ their sons in the job.

In retrospect, of course I regret calling them (Charlton fans) morons. Imbeciles would have been more appropriate.

If I see another David Gold interview on the poor East End Jewish boy done good I'll impale myself on one of his dildos.