Man, you're no smarter than me. You're just a fancier kind of stupid.

Pain shared is pain lessened; joy shared is joy increased. Thus do we refute entropy.

...I know good design when I fail to trip over it.

Euphemisms are for the differently brained.

Sometimes I think I must have a Guardian Idiot. A little invisible spirit just behind my shoulder, looking out for me...only he's an imbecile.

Some guys step on a rake in the dark, and get mad and go punch somebody. Others step on a rake in the dark and fall down laughing at themselves. I know which kind of guy I'd rather be. So do my friends.

To all the Callahan's Places there ever were or ever will be, whatever they may be called — and to all the merry maniacs and happy fools who are fortunate enough to stumble into one: may none of them arrive too late!