If somebody is not on the same page with me humor wise, I can't give them that.

Most poetry just confounds me. I really want to like it, but I can't help thinking it's a hoax. (p. 24)

When you can't draw chameleons and you can't draw blenders, it's a bad idea to write strips where chameleons become blenders.

If you put me in South Park, that audience is going to fall asleep in five minutes.

It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian tiger-from a distance, preferably separated by bars.

When I say 'friends,' I use that term loosely, as I don't actually have any.

If you're from a certain generation, you basically learn to read with 'Peanuts.' It's sort of the template for the modern strip. Its influence ceased to be noticed because it's in everything.