Most poetry just confounds me. I really want to like it, but I can't help thinking it's a hoax. (p. 24)

When you can't draw chameleons and you can't draw blenders, it's a bad idea to write strips where chameleons become blenders.

We need more cartoonists to truly retire when they retire, and not run repeats.

I'm very harsh on real estate agents. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because of how the call every small house 'charming' and every run-down house a 'great fixer-upper'. Just once, I'd like them to show me a house and declare, 'This one's a piece of crap'.

My wife Staci made me go to a wedding last weekend...If it weren’t for her, I’d be happy.

Repeats are the absolute soul-crushing killers of the comics page.

Whenever I see people with their collars up, I'm tempted to point it out to them like you would for someone who has a food stain on their shirt or food in their teeth, as if to say, 'Your fashion sense is so offensive I'm assuming it's some sort of accident you'll want to fix.