My wife Staci made me go to a wedding last weekend...If it weren’t for her, I’d be happy.

When I say 'friends,' I use that term loosely, as I don't actually have any.

If a restaurant offers crayons, I always take them and color throughout the meal. It beats talking to the people I came to dinner with.

If you're from a certain generation, you basically learn to read with 'Peanuts.' It's sort of the template for the modern strip. Its influence ceased to be noticed because it's in everything.

I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun.

Most poetry just confounds me. I really want to like it, but I can't help thinking it's a hoax. (p. 24)

If somebody is not on the same page with me humor wise, I can't give them that.