If someone spreads hate then they're not your religious leader.

It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to seek a mate.

John Boehner chose a huge gavel. I think somebody's compensating for his small government.

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled in poetry.

A press that has validity is a press that has authority. And as soon as there's any authority to what the press says, you question the authority of the government - it's like the existence of another authority.

Comedians dissect jokes all the time. Comedians are beautiful structuralists. But ultimately it's an athletic endeavor. You have to be able to just hit the backhand. You can't think about all the pieces of it. You can't think about your swing. You just have to do it. Reading someone else's deconstruction of what I do, all it does is put me in my head. On nights when the show goes particularly well, I am not aware of its fluidity. A lot of nights I'm just worried that I'm not going to be as good as the script in front of me.

The liberal Gluten-free agenda is turning our dogs lesbian.