Thirty seconds is the exact amount of time Americans can tolerate something they don't understand.

After nearly 15 minutes of soul searching, I have heard the call. Nation, I will seek the office of the president of the United States. I am doing it!

Warmth is to sun, as truth is to me.

Hey yogurt, if you're so cultured, how come I never see you at the opera?

I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well, I want you to know that this is the first book I've ever written, and I hope it's the first book you've ever read. Don't make a habit of it.

Asia: Four little letters, three billion little people.

The summer movies are coming out. My advice: just stay home and burn a good book.