You see, we're America the Beautiful, not America 'Well, At Least She Has a Great Personality'.

Take the platypus - that is not a finished product. It is clearly still in beta.

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...just make sure you thrust upward through his ribcage.

Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor.

The only thing that keeps us going back to one another is that we're all filled with such enormous self-doubt. We have doubts about our ability to be alone, to self-actualize.

I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens.

As we all know, reality has a liberal bias.