Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash. (Said to President Bush at the White House Correspondents Dinner)

America cannot afford a rally to restore sanity in the middle of a recession. Did you even consider how many panic-related jobs that might cost us in the fear-industrial complex?

The cost of living keeps going up, although death is surprisingly affordable.

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Or, as it's known to Native Americans - Sarcastic You're Welcomesgiving.

It is a well known fact that reality has liberal bias.

Republicans: the party that brought us 'Just Say No.' First as a drug policy, then as their entire platform.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Truth. No joke.