I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd believe in if it wasn't for that.

Young girls are obsessed with having a thigh gap. I blame the impossible body standards set by Spongebob.

I don't want someone shoving his views down my throat, unless they're covered in a crunchy candy shell.

Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics.

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.

America cannot afford a rally to restore sanity in the middle of a recession. Did you even consider how many panic-related jobs that might cost us in the fear-industrial complex?

Atheism: the religion devoted to the worship of one's own smug sense of superiority.