Those who rule the world get so little opportunity to run about and laugh and play in it.

It's now very common to hear people say 'I'm rather offended by that'.

The other man's arse is always cleaner!

I found it all about as arousing as a Tupperware party.

Hey-ho, it's raining inside: it isn't my fault and there's nothing I can do about it, but sit it out. But the sun may well come out tomorrow and when it does, I shall take full advantage.

No adolescent ever wants to be understood, which is why they complain about being misunderstood all the time.

Somehow, as a writer, you tend to use words to paper over structural cracks.