It's a great privilege just to be in a film not because you're some packaging that some agent has done with the studio exec: "We need a John Travolta film."

I now accept that it is looking increasingly likely that Tiger Woods is, in fact, straight.

Cynical is the name we give those we fear may be laughing at us.

Well, isn't it splendid & rather toffee?

Hold the newsreader's nose squarely, waiter, or friendly milk will countermand my trousers.

Having a great intellect is no path to being happy.

I like to think of myself at home in the armchair, writing, smoking and occasionally wandering down the shop.