Sometimes a cigar is just a smoke and a story's just a story

If you wrote something for which someone sent you a check, if you cashed the check and it didn't bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.

Outlines are the last resource of bad fiction writers who wish to God they were writing masters' theses.

Fighting for peace, is like f***ing for chastity

If God rewards us on earth for good deeds—the Old Testament suggests it’s so, and the Puritans certainly believed it—then maybe Satan rewards us for evil ones.

Whenever anything important happens in America, they have to gold-plate it, like baby shoes. That way you can forget it.

After the 9/11 apocalypse happened in New York City, people, particularly New Yorkers, who breathed in the ash, or saw the results of that, have a tendency to keep seeing echoes and having flashbacks to it.