This year, more people will use cocaine than will read a book to their children.

As soon as you start to talk about your own mannerisms, you are screwed. Because if you are aware of your own mannerisms, or beyond that even what makes any one thing funny to people, I really ascribe to that that if you start deconstructing it too much, it is immediately not funny.

The ability to compromise and having the ability to laugh at ourselves is huge and works well for me.

The only time I set the bar low is for limbo.

Everybody should be normal. Everybody should be nice. I think they go hand in hand, and that to me is the default setting.

Anything nice that's said about me is diametrically opposed to who I am.

Is there a God? If not, what are all these churches for? And who is Jesus' dad?