Even if I screw up in my personal life, as long as I'm not destroying myself, I just think, "Okay, I screwed up." I'm not Mother Theresa.

I think we all have a slightly gay gene inside us, don't we? It might be 0.00001 per cent as mine is, or one per cent as yours is.

That's what gives people hope - that you can still love someone from afar and you can still have those feelings across an ocean.

Convoy? Michael, you're hanging around with a man who uses a collective term for a single vehicle.

I'm an entertainer. I don't go round saying I'm a paragon of virtue, so that is clearly not in the public interest.

Sadly, I can't say the same for my Father, who is probably in a different place - Hell.

I'm not Mother Teresa. But I'm not Frank Bough, either. I am getting older and a bit more sensible. I'm not going to be popping up in dungeons every six months. If you catch me preaching fidelity while I am shagging chickens then throw the book at me. Otherwise, leave me alone.