There many guys out there who are actually fishing for a woman whom they are planning on keeping. But there are guys out there who are just sports fishing - catching them and then throwing them back into the ocean.

The best timed joke or the best timed phrase comes at spontaneous moments and just relies on me as the host to be very quick, and that's what I do.

THE MORE PEOPLE YOU HELP BECOME SUCCESSFUL, THE MORE SUCCESSFUL YOU BECOME.

The first time I saw my wife, Marjorie, I was doing stand-up in Memphis, and she was sitting in the front row. Afterward, I walked up and said, "Ma'am, I'm going to marry you one day". And 15 years later, I did.

Sometimes out of your biggest misery, comes your greatest gain.

If you want to be successful, you have to jump, there's no way around it. When you jump, I can assure you that your parachute will not open right away. But if you do not jump, your parachute will never open. If you're safe, you'll never soar!

If you don't believe in God, then where is your moral barometer?