You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

There is something going on now in Mexico that I happen to think is cruelty to animals. What I'm talking about, of course, is cat juggling.

You cannot make your opportunities concur with the opportunities of people whose incomes are ten times greater than yours.

I really like the animated film process. It's kind of like doing a play, because you can experiment with it, rewrite it, screen it, go back, then work on it a little bit more. If the joke doesn't work, you can fix it. It's different from a live action movie.

When I first started doing my stand-up act, I played the banjo, did comedy, magic tricks, juggled, read poetry. I stuck it all in. I didn't know you were supposed to just stand up and tell jokes. Essentially, that's what my act became: those five elements - except I dropped the poetry.

I just gave my cat a bath. Now how do I get all this fur off my tounge?

Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.