To have someone play off and be with a band is more pleasurable.

I used to think a wedding was a simple affair. Boy and girl meet, they fall in love, he buys a ring, she buys a dress, they say I do. I was wrong. That's getting married. A wedding is an entirely different proposition.

A joke that works is complete knowledge in a nanosecond.

I understood that as much as I had resisted the outside, as much as I had constricted my life, as much as I had closed and narrowed the channels into me, there were still many takers for the quiet heart.

I have heard it said that a complicated childhood can lead to a life in the arts. I tell you this story of my father and me to let you know I am qualified to be a comedian.

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars

When someone less capable is ahead of me, I am not pleased. It makes me insane.