To be with another woman, that is French. To be caught, that is American.

I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town.

I knew I could only play Cyrano if he were Americanized. I had no intention of writing the script myself. I was afraid of it. You're playing with fire when you tamper with a classic. So I went looking for a writer. But it was such a personal idea, and anyone I would give it to would make it his own. It's hard to ask Neil Simon to write your idea.

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars

Communication has changed so rapidly in the last 20 years, it's almost impossible to predict what might occur even in the next decade. E-mail, which now sends data hurtling across vast distances at the speed of light, has replaced primitive forms of communication such as smoke signals, which sent data hurtling across vast distances at the speed of light.

I'm not a human being. I'm despicable and disgusting - but that's where the money is.