Kids like my act because I'm wearing nose glasses. Adults like my act because there's a guy who thinks putting on nose glasses is funny.

You cannot make your opportunities concur with the opportunities of people whose incomes are ten times greater than yours.

I think communication is so firsbern.

Anyone who's ever worked with Meryl Streep always says the same thing: can that woman act! And what's with all the Hitler memorabilia?

You know when you're telling these little stories? Here's a good idea: have a point. It makes it so much more interesting for the listener!

I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time.

A day with out sun shine is like..........night