With comedy, you have no place to go but more comedy, so you're never off the hook.

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.

A celebrity is any well-known TV or movie star who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair.

I started a grease fire at McDonald's - threw a match in the cook's hair.

I just wanted to be in show business. I didn't care if I was going to be an actor or a magician or what. Comedy was a point of the least resistance, really. And on the simplest level, I loved comedy.

An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might be.

The banjo is truly an American instrument, and it captures something about our past.