Comedians don`t get Oscars, so I gave up on that a long time ago. And I can`t really speak about the Oscar-worthiness of my own performance.

Home to me is when someone comes up to me and says, "Can I get a selfie?" No. It's where your wife and your family are. It's the emotional place where you feel like you're not away from it.

Somewhere in the world is...The world's worst doctor and he could be yours.

I don't really manage my time. I really just wait until I'm inspired to do something. And when I'm inspired to do something, it just happens.

Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.

I'm always looking for something to engage my imagination and take me on a little mental voyage. I just want a new topic in my life.

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.