I can't smell moth balls, I find it too difficult to get their tiny legs apart

When I die, now don't think that I'm a nut, don't want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.

The only thing that bothers me is if I'm in a restaurant and I'm eating and someone says, 'Hey, mind if I smoke?' I always say, 'No. Mind if I fart?

It is the perfect wrong time for Jeremy to do to Mirabelle what she had done to him - call him up for a quick fix - because;, in a sense, she is now betrothed. Her first date with someone who treated her well obligates her to faithfulness, at least until the relationship is explored.

Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!

Awards mean nothing to comedians. What matters is the audience, how you're doing - artistically, for the most part - at that moment.

As a school board we felt it's an unfair expense to families. The lawsuit has a certain logic to it - if you have free public education, you can't put these things on top of it. It defeats the purpose.