A joke that works is complete knowledge in a nanosecond.

I don't watch myself gener­ally. I do something, see it once, and then I'll probably never see it again unless it's an accident.

I just wanted to be in show business. I didn't care if I was going to be an actor or a magician or what. Comedy was a point of the least resistance, really. And on the simplest level, I loved comedy.

I actually credit Twitter with fine-tuning some joke-writing skills. I still feel like I'm working at it.

Ah, yes. I remember my first beer.

You want to know how I think art should be taught to children? Take them to a museum and say, 'This is art, and you can't do it.

Writing is extremely personal, and that's the joy of it for me.