Sometimes being a dad is like watching a ping-pong match.

I've been offered 'Celebrity Fit Club', where you have to take off your shirt and get on a scale. I got kids, man. I'm not going to humiliate myself. I'd rather drive a cab.

I'd like to form a club just for fathers. Specifically, fathers of daughters. There would be lots of overstuffed leather chairs, wood paneling, dim lights. The works.

With girls, there's an insecurity that starts early on. It hangs around them, like some annoying kid from down the block who won't take the hint and go home when dinnertime comes. And moms are usually not great at giving their daughters confidence.

Moms and daughters can negotiate over anything, and they can go on longer than it took to settle the Vietnam War.

Everybody thinks they have the answer to how to be a good parent. Here's mine: Everybody's gonna make mistakes.

I've worked too hard all my life to have my kids control my life.