I'd like to form a club just for fathers. Specifically, fathers of daughters. There would be lots of overstuffed leather chairs, wood paneling, dim lights. The works.

If it's time for your character to go, it's time for your character to go - you know what I mean? That's it. It doesn't matter who you are.

Sometimes being a dad is like watching a ping-pong match.

I read a lot of true-crime books, but sometimes they can put you in a bad mood.

I've been offered 'Celebrity Fit Club', where you have to take off your shirt and get on a scale. I got kids, man. I'm not going to humiliate myself. I'd rather drive a cab.

With girls, there's an insecurity that starts early on. It hangs around them, like some annoying kid from down the block who won't take the hint and go home when dinnertime comes. And moms are usually not great at giving their daughters confidence.

Kids don't come with an instruction manual. So if you're gonna make mistakes, at least make them your own way.