He [Elton John] is pushing his face in all the time and telling us about his private life. Nobody's interested. He should just go away.

I once bought a Manchester United hat, which I think was 12 shillings, and somebody ran up behind me and pulled it off and just ran ahead. I thought, 'It's a very cruel world, I'm not prepared for this'. And I decided to get my revenge on society.

I've always assumed there's a dark river flowing beneath my fans' desires.

Oh yes, you can kick me And you can punch me And you can break my face But you won't change the way i feel 'cause i love you

The sorrow of the IRA Brighton bombing is that Thatcher escaped unscathed.

I think we were all initially swept along with the Obama win, but he's proven to be simply a set of teeth, and useless in every other regard.

Doing nothing gives me great pleasure. And believe me, I succeed wonderfully in it.