I am unable to watch the Olympics due to the blustering jingoism that drenches the event. Has England ever been quite so foul with patriotism? The 'dazzling royals' have, quite naturally, hi-jacked the Olympics for their own empirical needs, and no oppositional voice is allowed in the free press.

One can have great concern for the people of Ethiopia, but it's another thing to inflict daily torture on the people of England.

There is no such thing in life as normal.

I was never young. This idea of fun: cars, girls, saturday night, bottle of wine... to me, these things are morbid. I was always attracted to people with the same problems as me. It doesn't help when most of them are dead.

I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does.

I am still my teenage self. If you think that we all step through a door marked Adult, or that we sign a Grown-Up Document, you’re quite wrong. We remain as we always were, and that, alas, is one of life’s many nasty tricks.

I'm just happy being dumpy. Dumpy, fat and middle-aged.