I once bought a Manchester United hat, which I think was 12 shillings, and somebody ran up behind me and pulled it off and just ran ahead. I thought, 'It's a very cruel world, I'm not prepared for this'. And I decided to get my revenge on society.

I am still my teenage self. If you think that we all step through a door marked Adult, or that we sign a Grown-Up Document, you’re quite wrong. We remain as we always were, and that, alas, is one of life’s many nasty tricks.

You are a work of art.

There is no such thing in life as normal.

Although I don't have anything against people from other countries, the higher the influx into England the more the British identity disappears.

Well, I'm a Catholic by birth and you can never shed it.

So the life I have made May seem wrong to you But, I've never been surer It's my life to ruin My own way.