Jesus made me, so he should save me from pity, sympathy and idiots discussing me.

I'd love to...but only with you.

I have found the best way to avoid ending your life as a bitter wreck is to start out as one.

All of us, ultimately, we're not that interesting, when it comes down to it.

Artists aren't really people. And I'm actually 40 per cent papier mache.

If anyone has seen the horrific and unwatchable footage of the Chinese cat and dog trade - animals skinned alive - then they could not possibly argue in favour of China as a caring nation. There are no animal protection laws in China, and this results in the worst animal abuse and cruelty on the planet. It is indefensible.

Each year of life brings us nearer to our decline, but I will continue to seek a listener until I'm dead in a ditch.