God, come down, if you're really there - Well, you're the one who claims to care!

He drove me home in the van, complaining, 'Women only like me for my mind'.

Why pamper life's complexities when the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat?

There's no blame placed at Kate Middleton, who was in the hospital for, as far as I can see, absolutely no reason . . . She feels no shame about the death of this woman. The arrogance of the British royals is staggering, absolutely staggering.

He referred to me as an 'insufferable puffed-up prat'. This is a bit rich coming from a man who actually married his own mother.

When you're younger, you see the people who are in power and think they must have that position because of some degree of skill. And as you get older, you realize it's not true, that most people in those positions are absolutely inept. And this naturally makes you feel better about yourself.

I'm dramatically underexposed. I demand more attention!