Was there some basic flaw in her makeup that made her keep falling in love with this man who couldn’t love her back?

As far as I'm concerned, men like you were put on this world to entertain women like me.

I guess we're oil and water. (Phoebe) I'd say we're more like gasoline and a blowtorch. (Dan)

I finally figured out that not every crisis can be managed. As much as we want to keep ourselves safe, we can't protect ourselves from everything. If we want to embrace life, we also have to embrace chaos.

Before you lost your mind, how did you make a living?" "I was a hitman for the Mafia. Are you done crying yet?" "I wasn't crying! And I wish you were a hitman because, if I had money, I'd hire you right this minute to knock yourself off.

Disagreements over money are the biggest cause of divorce.

I take thee... to be my awful wedded husband