Don't mess with me, Calvin. You'll only get hurt.

If I could put my brain in her body, the world would be mine for the taking.

When it's your fourth marriage, you tend to lose faith in superstitions.

Ironic, isn't it, what religion does to people?" "I guess it's more ironic what people do to religion.

Do you really expect me to fall apart every time another woman throws herself at you? Because, if that's so, I'll be a nervous wreck before the honeymoon's over. Although, if they do it in front of me..." He went still. "Did you just propose to me?" She bristled. "Do you have a problem with that?" The scoreboard lit up, and he gave the world a high five. "God, I love you.

wouldn't you like to make sure all those millions you give to Uncle Sam went to schools and hospitals instead of nuclear warheads?' As a matter of fact, he would. Playgrounds for big kids, preschool programs to little ones, and mandatory LASIK surgery for NFL refs.

I guess we're oil and water. (Phoebe) I'd say we're more like gasoline and a blowtorch. (Dan)