People have to find their rhythm. Some people have need for more contact and time together and some people need more space.

If our hearts are ready for anything, we are touched by the beauty and poetry and mystery that fill our world.

Unless we're completely awake, have a degree of that. We tense against love and hold on in a way that doesn't let it flow. When that's really strong, the key piece to freeing our hearts is self-compassion.

When caught in conflict and blame - make a U-turn and shift your attention from blaming thoughts to what's going on emotionally in your body.

If we're not open to losing, we're not open to loving.

Offer some gesture of kindness to yourself. Sometimes it's just a message, to say: "It's okay. You're going to be okay. We've been through this before." The intention is reassurance, that you are not alone and you can do this. It is the most powerful way to come out of what I call the "trance of unworthiness."

If attachment then carries forward in a way that's not healthy, we need to let it be there without making it wrong and bring as compassionate and honest attention to it as possible. Honor that this is part of being human, but it's important to know when it's getting in the way.