Several sellers of hot meat pies and sausages in a bun had appeared from nowhere and were doing a brisk trade. [Footnote: They always do, everywhere. No-one sees them arrive. The logical explaination is that the franchise includes the stall, the paper hat and a small gas-powered time machine.]

Our garden was debated territory between five local cats, and we'd heard that the best way to keep other cats out of the garden was to have one yourself. A moment's rational thought here will spot the slight flaw in this reasoning.

One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble.

The truth is a fog, in which one man sees the heavenly host and the other one sees a flying elephant.

Oh, where are my manners? Do sit down. Pull up a small child.

I should have learned this, she thought. I wanted to learn fire, and pain, but I should have learned people.

Legends don't have to make sense. They just have to be beautiful. Or at least interesting.