Happiness is not the natural state of mankind, and is never achieved from the outside in.

I'm trying to have a moment o' existential dreed here, right? Crivens, it's a puir lookout if a man canna feel the chilly winds o' fate lashing aroound his netheres wi'out folks telling him he's deid, eh?

Look, he said to his imagination, if this is how you're going to behave, I shan't bring you again.

I’m a witch. It’s what we do. When it’s nobody else’s business, it’s my business.

I read anything that’s going to be interesting. But you don’t know what it is until you’ve read it. Somewhere in a book on the history of false teeth there’ll be the making of a novel.

As large as worlds. As old as Time. As patient as a brick.

William: "I'm sure we can all pull together, sir." Vetinari: "Oh, I do hope not. Pulling together is the aim of despotism and tyranny. Free men pull in all kinds of directions.