Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.

The brain works fast when it thinks it’s about to be cut in half.

I'm up to my neck in the real world, every day. Just you try doing your VAT return with a head full of goblins.

I do not in fact use many puns. Certainly there are far fewer than people believe. But I suspect the ones I do occasionally use tend to hang around in people's memories for a while.

The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?

His sister had been sent down to the village to ask Mistress Garlick the witch how you stopped spelling recommendation.

I intend, before the endgame looms, to die sitting in a chair in my own garden with a glass of brandy in my hand and Thomas Tallis on the iPod. Oh, and since this is England, I had better add, "If wet, in the library." Who could say that this is bad?