Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.

...William wondered why he always disliked people who said 'no offense meant.' Maybe it was because they found it easier to to say 'no offense meant' than actually to refrain from giving offense.

What's money interested in? More money.

On the Disc the gods dealt severely with atheists.

Christ managed to boil down an awful lot of commandments to a few very simple rules for living. It's when you go backwards through the 'begats' and the Garden of Eden, and you start thinking, 'Hang on, that's a big punishment for eating one lousy apple... There's a human-rights issue.'

Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show.

I wouldn't trust you with a bucket of water if my knickers were on fire!