If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.

I once absent-mindedly ordered Three Mile Island dressing in a restaurant and, with great presence of mind, they brought Thousand Island Dressing and a bottle of chili sauce.

Down there - he said - are people who will follow any dragon, worship any god, ignore any inequity. All out of a kind of humdrum, everyday badness. Not the really high, creative loathsomeness of the great sinners, but a sort of mass-produced darkness of the soul. Sin, you might say, without a trace of originality. They accept evil not because they say yes, but because they don't say no.

William: "I'm sure we can all pull together, sir." Vetinari: "Oh, I do hope not. Pulling together is the aim of despotism and tyranny. Free men pull in all kinds of directions.

Aliens don't get stuck in air ducts. It's practically a well-known fact.

I don't see what's so triffic about creating people as people and then gettin' upset 'cos they act like people.

Probably the last sound heard before the Universe folded up like a paper hat would be someone saying, "What happens if I do this?"