Ninety percent of most magic merely consists of knowing one extra fact.

One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble.

I don't think a baker reads an awful lot about bread.

Asking someone to repeat a phrase you'd not only heard very clearly but were also exceedingly angry about was around Defcon II in the lexicon of squabble.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, and there was no one there to hear it, does it - philosopically speaking - make a noise

In the words of the philosopher Sceptum, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this?

And these are your reasons, my lord?" "Do you think I have others?" said Lord Vetinari. "My motives, as ever, are entirely transparent." Hughnon reflected that 'entirely transparent' meant either that you could see right through them or that you couldn't see them at all.