And what had he wanted? He'd never sat down to think about it. But mostly, he wanted yesterday to be different from today.

Oh dear me, the Booker people don't like me. I don't care. I have been given an award for being taken not seriously, and I am very, very pleased about that.

It must be powerful language if you canna make oout what the heel it’s goin’ on aboot!

I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said "You look as if you need a Screaming Orgasm". At the time this was the last thing on my mind.

I'm interested in mythology generally, but India has no special place in my heart - although Hindu gods seem a lot more fun.

The real world was far too real to leave neat little hints. It was full of too many things. It wasn't by eliminating the impossible that you got to the truth, however improbable; it was by the much harder process of eliminating the possibilities.

There's no such thing as writer's block. That was invented by people in California who couldn't write.